I Cut My Hair Because I Was Heartbroken and Depressed.

Growing up, it was the norm to keep your Afro textured hair (commonly known as natural hair) growing to a volume so you add hair relaxers to make it easy to comb and style. Keeping your hair natural wasn't really accepted until recently when the ‘am a natural girl’ wave blew over and young girls began to embrace their hair type. I for one never wanted to add chemicals or even do braids or add hair extensions. Though I would admire ladies rocking their hair styles my wish was to keep a low cut hair.  But the words of my big sister stuck with me on that day; right after completing high school about five years ago, I asked her if it was really necessary to keep my hair, she told me that soon I would be entering the University and with my low cut, my colleagues would regard me as a child and might not respect me or will risk not getting a boyfriend. Well that reason was a big deal to me so I discarded my  idea of keeping a low cut hair and jumped onto the wagon of ‘perpetual suffering’ which I coined to represent the painful process of maintaining permed hair. 

The Journey of Beauty is Pain

 My journey began when I got my first braid. With every strand of hair the hair stylist pulled and

added the synthetic hair to braid sent shivers down my spine, plus having to sit for almost seven hours to get it done was unbearable. I was restless in my seat. In the moment, the words that kept ringing in my mind were “is this the pain every woman goes through just to look beautiful”? I endured the pain to the end but thought about the aftermath, the hair stylist however kept encouraging me that it would go away after three days and that I would get used to it. I must confess, I couldn't recognize myself afterwards; I had totally changed and saw the ‘lady’in me. I stood in front of the mirror and kept smiling at the new me despite the excruciating pain in my head down to my neck. Even before I got home, everybody I met complimented me on my new look, and praises from my family topped it all. Then the real struggle came at night.  I couldn't lay my head down on my pillow owing to the pain hence I ended up sitting throughout the night. The three days I anticipated extended to a week and then I began rock it, changing styles practically every three days.

Tristan Barkowski ©

Then afterwards I unbraided and tried hair extensions which I was reassured were less painful but it came with its own maintenance issues of combing. I always dreaded going to salon either to get my hair washed or relaxed, the long hours I spent under the dryer was literally killing me; it was as if my brain was on fire as well as the accompanying hair problems of dandruff, breakage, hair loss and weak edges. . Even after several years I never got used to it and anytime I vowed not to go back I found myself at the salon getting either a braid or weave on because I wasn't comfortable leaving my damaged hair on. I tried every available hair product on the market from Virgin Hair fertilizers, Chapter 2000, Kuza, MGL (others i cannot even recall their names; I became a product junkie).  topped them up with natural home remedies like egg and onion therapy, Shea butter and coconut oil Yet I achieved little results. I then decided to transition to natural hair, I stopped applying hair relaxers, avoided braids and weave- ons. However I adapted to wearing wigs which came with extreme heat.

Embracing my African Hair

Finally I threw in the towel and shared my idea of keeping a low cut with some friends, responses from them included: “At this age you want to cut your hair?”, “After spending money to do your hair all these years?”, “Why don’t you maintain it natural and not cut it?”, “You will regret cutting it”, “You wouldn't look good considering your face shape” ,“Be patient and it will grow” and “Why did you have to wait all this while after completing University?”. These were some of their comments but as the Akan adage goes “Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown" I did consider some of them especially that of my mother’s but my mind was already made up. I walked into a barbering shop one Saturday at 5:45pm with my wig on and asked for my hair to be cut, just after I said that I noticed a look of astonishment on the face of the barber. I took off my wig and the barber executed his task duly. Surprisingly, I received very positive compliments for my new look (particularly when I attended my graduation and friends couldn't get enough of my look, it was as if they were happy to see my new hair and not me). Whilst some commended me for taking a really bold step, I received another unfair share of uncalled for criticisms especially "Did you cut your hair because you are depressed" "Are you heartbroken"‘What will you do on your wedding day” “It doesn't even look good” “Why can’t you afford maintaining your hair” “You look like a child” ‘Queen mothers in recent times have stopped cutting their hair how much more you a nobody?’. And the huge breaker was “You look like a divorced PhD holder who is struggling to get a man”. I always chuckled when such comments were made because the day I removed my last braids was the day I vowed never to go through that stage of beauty is pain.

Short Hair is 'Bae'

Apparently, opposition to your own hair decision is everywhere; two other female friends of mine(Ad

&AK) had similar experiences. Ad recounted how her mother and aunties discouraged her because she had really great natural hair and they felt it wasn't necessary but to her, the pain was unbearable and coupled with a sensitive scalp made matters worse.However this was what Ak said;

“My reasons for cutting my hair are that I had dandruff (dry one) which was becoming difficult to treat. I also couldn't stand the pain of using hair relaxers going under the hair dryer for close to an hour was another issue. And also I felt it time wasting to go and spend many hours at the salon and go through the stress of having braids which won't last for three weeks. So I just decided to keep it low so that probably I can wash each day and at any time.  I got people being on me especially friends who knew I had quite plenty hair and also people from my church asking me why I cut my hair” Some say it makes look younger than my age and some also say it makes me look like a bad girl. “Some male friends thought I didn't have enough money to continue doing my hair but now that I have cut it, others also want to follow suit”

So?

 Why would any woman want to go to that extreme when life is simple? Whilst some women can withstand pain in order to look attractive, others cannot and nobody should discourage her. It’s a personal choice. It’s my head, my hair and my style. Keeping my hair long or low cut doesn't change my personality; it doesn't mean I am depressed or heartbroken? If it were so we would have had many ladies walking about with ‘santo’

Over to you ladies